Thinking About Integrity

Good Morning,

I have been thinking about Integrity. 

What does it really mean when we say someone has it or lacks it?  Let’s start with some definitions I found:

Definitions Of Integrity

From the on-line free dictionary: In·teg·ri·ty ( n-t g r -t ) n.

1. Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code.
2. The state of being unimpaired; soundness.
3. The quality or condition of being whole or undivided; completeness.

 From Wikipedia: Integrity is a concept of consistency of actions, values, methods, measures, principles, expectations and outcomes. In Christian ethics, integrity is regarded as the quality of having an intuitive sense of honesty and truthfulness in regard to the motivations for one’s actions. Integrity can be regarded as the opposite of hypocrisy, in that it regards internal consistency as a virtue, and suggests that parties holding apparently conflicting values should account for the discrepancy or alter their beliefs.

 The word “integrity” stems from the Latin adjective integer (whole, complete). In this context, integrity is the inner sense of “wholeness” deriving from qualities such as honesty and consistency of character. As such, one may judge that others “have integrity” to the extent that one judges whether they behave according to the values, beliefs and principles they claim to hold.

 Wholeness In Message

 For the past seven months, my son Michael has been going through, what I can only describe as, a logic defying divorce process.  Having spoken with him along the entire way, it’s been frustrating, as a Father, to observe what happens when pride starts to overshadow progress.  He has certainly been more patient than I would have been.

 Having voluntarily stifled his voice for the past seven months, so as to not “interfere” with the process, his time and patience finally ran out.  Last week, Michael announced on his blog that he and Kelly are expecting a little girl (Sophie) in September. 

 Hallelujah!  Finally, the whole family can openly celebrate in this wonderful gift of life. 

 For many years prior, and certainly during the time he has been blogging, Michael has believed in being open about his “life lessons” in what he has termed as a certain “transparency”.  People who come to know Michael and his blog have learned that “what you see is what you get”.  Honesty, insightfulness and his integrity of purpose, have been the primary goals.

 By the many, many comments received from the “Good Times, Hard Times and Red Baby Shoes” post, the community of friends, family and perfect strangers were greatly supportive of the announcement.  However, there was one that was not. 

 That particular comment started out by stating that Michael needed to show more “integrity”.  Reading this left me questioning the true definition of the term.  While it wasn’t the purpose of the post, the presumption here was that he lacked integrity for including (or was it excluding) his “soon to be ex-wife” and making her a “mute character”.   

 Now if I understand the definition of integrity correctly (see above), it has almost everything to do with being complete and adhering to a set of values you personally embrace. 

 Even though my values vary from yours, the act of me embracing them is the true test of my integrity.  This remains true, even when you disagree with my values.

 As an extreme example, suicide bombers who fulfill their missions “completely” and based on their own sets of beliefs are displaying integrity.  By the same logic, the Kamikaze pilots of WWII would have had integrity.  I’m not saying these were good acts, from my point of view, but they absolutely required a commitment to integrity beyond the norm.

 So “integrity” by pure definition, may not be something we would always want to use when referring to someone’s actions that haven’t met our own moral expectations. 

 Perceiving or claiming that a person has integrity, or lacks it, really becomes a subjective judgment.  Just because we disagree does not mean that the other person lacked the personal purpose necessary to achieve integrity.  If, on the other hand, the person has not followed through with their true beliefs, then they would not have shown integrity and that would be based on fact.

 I tend to question the motives behind those who criticize others when they themselves are flawed.  Jack Johnson put it well in one of his song, Brushfire Fairytales, “We are only what we hate.”  When we question someone’s integrity for an ideal that we hold, should we also question our own?

 Have some integrity = Be true to yourself.

 Love, Dad

Street Sign: Robert Finkelstein’s Blog

Integrity Pyramid: Steve Bosserman’s Blog