Weekend Letter | Notes From Dad

Harley Time 2012

Posted on November 4, 2012 by Jon Long Sr

Good Morning,

In 1999, and after a comment made to Jeanie that I would like a “Harley”, we decided to get a motorcycle. Not just any motorcycle, but a Harley Davidson Ultra Classic Electra Glide (FLHTCUI). A bike that was made for taking trips, or as referred to in the industry as “Touring”.

Having never ridden a bike of any significance in “BC” (before cycle) my previous life, and now at 50 taking it on, I’m sure the decision was considered by many as the typical “middle age” crisis. Once we got through the initial indoctrination and actually learning how to shift this magnificent machine, we took off and in the first year put 12K miles on the bike. We rode everywhere we could find the time and with that came experiences not easily replicated or replaced. Being fortunate enough to be geographically located in one of the stellar areas of the country for flora and fauna, the rides were a plethora of sights, sounds, smells and scenery rarely matched.

Many trips up and down the Oregon Coast, Columbia River Gorge and even a couple down to beautiful Santa Barbara, California. The most ambitious was a cross-country trek from York, Pennsylvania to Portland, Oregon, which turned out to be an eight-day adventure and a time where just the two of us enjoyed each other and shared life’s experiences.

If there is one constant in life it is that things change. Our timing was perfect as it was a short 2 years later when Jeanie’s bones started to cause serious issues with her quality of life and prevented her from riding. We bought the bike for us to ride and without “us” on the bike the fun wasn’t the same. After 6 months sitting in the garage and the prospects of ever riding again together uncertain, we chose to sell the bike. It was akin to parting with a good friend, complete with all of the emotion.

This last month, we made the decision to once again get out there. So with a tacit understanding that it is “later than you think” and opportunities at this age rarely knock twice, we bought another bike. The next focus is on converting it into a “Trike”, which should take about a year to complete. Why a trike, well mainly for stability and far less risk with a fall. Done that and didn’t like it. The intention is for Jeanie and I to enjoy Arizona and any other part of the country our hearts take us, while we still can.

I am excited on so many levels, none the least of these is something Jeanie and I can do together.

New chapter, new experiences, fun times.

Love, Dad

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36 Years & 36 Ways

Posted on September 3, 2012 by Jon Long Sr

Good Morning, 36 Tips for Staying Married 36 Years.

Son Michael suggested this so, I will give it a shot. Since Jeanie and I celebrated our 36^th year of marriage, I guess he thought I might have some suggestions. I do not profess to be an authority on marriage or what makes it work, so please take the following as just my observations of our relationship and has worked for us.

Ladies please note that these are from a man’s perspective and therefore may have that slant on occasion.

Also these are listed in no particular order, while I suppose the ones at the top are the first ones I came up with.

“Marry your best friend”. At least someone to whom you are friends, because friends accept you for who you are. Then make them your BFF.
“Take some time to get to know one-another”. No need to rush it, for you should be married for a very long time. That is of course unless you are in the winter of your years and then there are “no rules”.
“Once married do not try to change your partner”. This will only cause strife. You better like them before making that life-long commitment. Change has to come from within and while your partner may alter their ways, it won’t be until they embrace from within those changes will they really happen. In the mean-time resentment can build for lack of acceptance from you.
“Respect one another… always”. Take a moment and think how you would like to be treated, before you act or say something demeaning.
“Listen to what she says and do not try to fix it”. If you are a man… that may be difficult to do, but only offer advice if asked; “What would you do?”
“State your needs clearly”. If you are a woman… remember that men are not good a guessing games especially when it comes to women and they will usually get it wrong. The direct approach is usually the best.
“Chivalry is not dead”. If you are a man, then always treat your spouse like a lady. Open doors for her. Voluntarily offer assistance. Even do this for strangers, as it is good practice.
“Thank each other for the little things”. A good meal, clean clothes, clean house, wise shopping and a multitude of other things too numerous to mention. It is the recognition for an effort that is important here. We all want to be appreciated and this is one way to show it.
“Never embarrass your partner”. This goes for in public and in private. We remember how someone made us feel more than what is said. Those kinds of things can stick around for a while and undermine a good relationship.
“Thank them for marrying you”. Ok, so that may be difficult for a few, but it is like giving your vows all over again, but without the expensive ceremony. And it is not just for anniversaries either. Much better over a quiet dinner or side by side in bed after an especially long day.
“Keep it dynamic.” Every day, in some little way we change. Whether it is a like, dislike, physical, opinion or fetish. Double that and it can over time be significant. We all have heard the saying, “You are not the person I married”. That is usually true and if you haven’t adjusted the relationship to fit the changes, then you are headed for “rough waters”.
“Seek Professional Counseling”. I am suspicious of a marriage when someone says, “we have never had an argument”. Yah right, like that will happen. Do not go into a marriage thinking it is going to be a Rose Garden, for it is that kind of expectation that will bring devastating effects later in your marriage. This could be the reason that second marriages seem to work out better. We know what to expect and how to handle what comes up much better after we have screwed up a few times. If something seems insurmountable, well then seek someone that can advise you both. You cannot fix just one side of a disagreement. It almost always requires compromise from both sides.
“Separate if needed”. Ok so you have come to this “great divide” and need to gain some perspective. Do not jump into a divorce, but instead make some breathing room. There is nothing like waking up in the morning by yourself in a quiet apartment to give you time to evaluate your relationship. Sometimes it only takes a few nights in a hotel. See #11. I am not advocating sticking around if there is any kind of physical or mental abuse going on. That is a big red flag and needs to be dealt with professionally. The “Best Friend” thing doesn’t exist any longer in that case.
“Support each others dreams”. We all have dreams and aspirations. You may have shared some of those while courting. Help your partner to achieve them. Could be an education left unfinished, a dream of owning your own business or building a house. Maybe climbing a mountain or running a marathon, who knows, but that is what best friends do. Sure, there is usually some sacrifice involved, but the rewards can be much greater.
“Tough Love”. There will be times when you have to take a stand. When things are turning out badly and the only way to save the relationship is to take some drastic action. Intervention can become a “do or die” scenario and scary as well. Remember you are saving your partner for life and even sometimes their life as well. Do whatever it takes, as that is after all, the vow you took when you married.
“Be willing to compromise”. Sometimes this is not easy when we really had your heart set on a certain outcome. Crank up the empathy and try to see things from both sides. This can be about pets, colors of a car, or even as simple as where to eat. The outcome may just turn out better than you expected.
“Have Children”. If you both want to that is. Just remember they are not like pets and will most likely be around for the rest of your life. At the very least, that is the way it is scripted. They can bring great joy as well as great sorrow, great pride and great angst. It is a “Pot Luck” with kids and the best you can do, is the best you can do without an owner’s manual. There is of course, a huge drive to keep your relationship together when there are kids involved. There is of course the fun of making them as well.
“Put your partner first”. You will always receive if you give. If you don’t, then something is lop-sided and needs to be addressed. It is not sub-servant to do this, as it shows your partner how much you care in little ways.
“Flowers”. If you are a man, then it is important to remember flowers. I’m not talking so much about special occasions like Wedding Anniversaries, Mothers Day, Valentines Day and the like, but the “No Special Day” ones when they least expect it. The ones that say “I Love You” and nobody dictated that I was suppose to do this. If you are a woman, maybe it could be a special meal or something you know he would like and it doesn’t have to be sex. Although…
“A card in the luggage”. Hide a card in the luggage when your spouse is traveling, just to let them know you will miss them. It is a reminder of why they are traveling if for work and if for pleasure, well maybe you should be there as well.
“Sex” Yah Sex. It is the most intimate you can be with your partner. The most fun you can have without laughing. Sharing some of the most basic feelings in life and of course DNA as well. There was a study that showed couples with a healthy sex life were also much healthier. Sharing the good hugs, bugs and exercise I would suspect. Remember good men come last.
“Remember favorite colors & sizes”. Sounds trite maybe, but colors have a big influence on how we feel and perceive things. Probably more so in women than men, but something you should be aware of just the same. You may be in a situation to pick out something for your partner and not know which color or size to choose. It could have an impact on how it is received.
“Forsake all others”. This is critical in a good relationship. You will always find some friends and family that may not embrace your relationship as much as you do. When this happens you must distance yourself from the negativity and focus on why the two of you found each other. After all, it is your choices that are the most important and not what other people think. They are only looking at the relationship from the outside in. Granted, “Love is Blind”, but you still are at choice as to what you do.
“About money”. One of the biggest issues facing married couples can be money. Either the lack of it, or having too much. Lack of enough money to get by can cause stress in a marriage, but can also bring couples together if they work for a common purpose. It is when you have just enough to get by and your partner spends too much that issues arise. Likewise having too much, while it may seem to be the panacea to your problems, has a dark side. Couples can focus too much on the “material” and less on the “spiritual” part of the relationship and before you know it, inanimate objects creating a wall from each other can surround you. Money 1 – relationship 0.
“Managing money”. It is important to find a mutual ground from which to work on your finances. Everyone has a different take on how money should be handled. Ultimately it is important that you work together to achieve security in the relationship. Make some, spend less and plan for the future when you no longer make it. Remember that you are a team in this and what one does affects the other.
“Communication”. Ah yes, I call it keeping the weeds and interlopers out of the garden. Staying on top of current events in the life of your partner is essential. If you won’t listen, then there is always someone out there that will. This is especially true of couples that work outside of the home. Constantly surrounded by influences from co-workers that have little empathy for your relationship and can plant seeds that cause you to drift apart.
“Be aware of changes”. Abrupt changes in your partner can signal unhappiness that is not being shared or communicated. Rapid weight loss when the two of you are not doing it together. Sudden attention to personal appearance, exercise programs or excessive work hours. These could add up to a shift in the relationship you were not expecting.
“Religion or belief system”. It is naturally much easier in a relationship and marriage when a couple share the same spiritual beliefs. That is not always the case and when that is the situation it is important to remember that our relationship with God, a Higher Power or not, is a very personal thing. It is something we should not be cajoled into just to placate another’s belief. There should be a mutual respect maintained without criticism of our partner’s “happy place”.
“Separate but together”. It is not just religion, but all aspects of ones personality that needs to be respected and appreciated. There is a reason you were attracted to this person and it better be for more than sex. Do not smother your partner, but help them grow and thrive for they are you life investment. They should be with you because you are the best thing they have ever known and are confident in your love for them.
“Opposites attract”. We have heard it many times, “Opposites Attract” and it tends to be true, no more so than after a broken marriage. We look for things we are not and opposite of what we had. The important thing is that those traits can also be the very things we try to change. Remember that if you do not have these characteristics in your personality, then you can be a fuller person by embracing them. Work to create a synergy with your partner and you will achieve a sum greater than it’s parts.
“Remember Dates”. I’m not talking about the ones when you were single here, but your partner’s birthday, your anniversary, sobriety and dates of that nature. Use whatever means you need to. With all of the electronic helpers these days, there can be no excuse. Then recognize them. For men, the very fact that you do can go a long way. You can be sure that she will… that and so much more.
“Look out for Number One”. Take care of yourself, for if you don’t, you will be of little good to anyone else you care for. Spouse, children, family and friends included.
“Recognize signs of endearment”. With men it can be as simple as fixing something around the house as a show of affection. With women it can be a little extra effort to make their man look and smell good. It is the little things that add up to make the big thing.
“Choose your battles”. There are some things that are just not worth getting your knickers in a twist over. A little dent on the car that suddenly appears, skid marks in the underwear, a broken drinking glass or plate. They are all part of life that happens. Have a short memory, get over it and get on with the important things.
“Let the kid out”. It is ok to be a kid now and then. Act a little stupid, play some, tickle, kid, joke and whatever else is spontaneous in the moment. You won’t be able to do it in the coffin.
“Always, always remember to say “I Love You”. Just three little words, but so important to reinforce the relationship. Almost perfunctory, but should never be taken for granted.

Well that’s all folks!

Love, Dad

Posted in Love, Marriage, Observations, Relationships, Thoughts | 2 Comments

Imagine

Posted on August 12, 2012 by Jon Long Sr

Good Morning,

A few weeks ago I wrote about the sheer vastness of the universe and how the almost inconceivable distances will make space travel outside of our Solar System, at least with present day technology, nearly impossible. The crux of the letter was to bring us back to the reality that we really should be focusing on how we all get along on this fragile little planet of ours, rather than trying to populate another one. After all “Wherever you go, there you are”, so we would surely take with us the same issues we have here.

Let me be clear, I am not against exploration outside of Earth, as I believe we have reaped many benefits from the advances in technology required to accomplish what we have done in space. Mars rover “Curiosity” landing was a phenomenal feat of American engineering acumen and scientific prowess. The very fact that NASA and we as country, could pull it off, speaks volumes of what we can accomplish when given the right stuff. For that I am proud.

So getting along…that is the real trick and history would show it is much harder than dropping a SUV sized rover precisely where you want it on a revolving planet that changes in distance from us between 94.3 and 234 million miles. The rover actually traveled about 352 million miles to get there.

Since Cain killed Abel, or Uugh killed his brother Lugh if you wish, we have found ways of offing each other. Whether it is one of the Seven Deadly Sins (Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, Pride), Territorial Possession or possibly the biggest… Religion, we have managed to keep up the slaughter with no signs of letting up.

Strangely enough, I can pretty much understand the Seven Deadly Sins, as they are intrinsic in our Human Nature along with Territorial Possession being a manifestation of several of them. While the list varies somewhat depending on who is doling it out, the general theme is that these things could get you into hot water, heated by the fires of hell. Well at least that is what I have been told by those who are experts in these matters. I just have to take it on faith, which brings me to Religion.

Why is it with a “Religion” that just because I may believe my spiritual destiny is determined by living a certain way, dressing a certain way, eating a certain way and envisioning my nirvana differently from yours, that I must push/impose those beliefs on others? Is it possibly that I might be unsure enough of my beliefs and therefore need others to agree with my spiritual philosophy just to add credence? And if you don’t agree with me, do I then have the right to kill you for being an unbeliever “Infidel”? Of course I would be sanctioned by “My God” to do this for I am doing it in “God’s Name”.

So who is right and who is wrong? After all it has to be “Black & White” and not 50 shades of gray? We need to know in which ring to throw our hat, and God forbid we throw it in the wrong one. You must choose wisely.

Funny how we can be so sure that our way is the right way and our God is the right God. If we could only pick what is a comfortable fit for us personally and then follow that path without persecution or imposing it on others. There is your “Nirvana” right there.

A “Higher Power”, sure why not, this all had to come from somewhere. The rub for me comes when we try to define it from there and create a “Religion” that controls our lives and expect all others to agree with us. I believe in “Freedom of Religion”, but I do not believe in “Oppression by Religion”. I think my position on this can be summed up with the lyrics from “Imagine”, by John Lennon:

Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people living for today

Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people living life in peace

You, you may say
I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one
I hope some day you’ll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people sharing all the world

You, you may say
I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one
I hope some day you’ll join us
And the world will live as one

Peace,

Love, Dad

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Space Traveler

Posted on July 1, 2012 by Jon Long Sr

Good Morning,

I find myself contemplating the universe a bit more these days. Not that I can change anything out there, but more about the incomprehensible size of the whole thing. With the assistance of the Hubble Telescope and other newer ones, we are now confident that there are billions (that’s with a “B”) of Galaxies out there beyond our own Milky Way. Even within our own Milky Way there are billions of stars, many like our own Sun, which is considered average in the whole scheme of things.

Our solar system now seems to be pretty typical, as planets are created and captured by the gravity of larger objects like a star. We orbit around the Sun and moons orbit around planets. When you understand the physics behind it, there is nothing very spectacular going on with moons. Our Earth has one, Mars has two, Jupiter has 63, Saturn 62, Uranus has 27, Neptune 13, Pluto has 3, Haumea has 2, Eris has 1. Mercury, Venus, Ceres and Makemake forgot to take a number when it came to dishing out moons and lost out. Didn’t know there were thirteen planets? I know, when I was growing up we only had eight and then Pluto came along and made it nine.

Personally, I think it would be pretty narrow-minded to think that our solar system is the only one…and the only one to support life, for we also know that the building blocks of life are strewn throughout the cosmos. Granted that the conditions have to be just right to support life as we know it, but why does it have to be, as we know it? The days of the church dictating beliefs and ruling the people are over, accept it, we are no longer the “center of the universe” and no longer does everything revolve around us. And…yes, that is the way it is, regardless of whether or not there are still people out there that feel the world revolves around them.

So, where does that leave us when it comes to the presence of other life “out there”? I think it may be nice to know for sure as it could put to rest the ranting of a number of fanatics who want to impose their dogma on the rest of us. But then again, there would still be a percentage that would deny the findings. You would probably find them in the same room with the ones who said we never went to the Moon or that the Holocaust never happened. You know, the ones whose collective brainpower for logical reasoning could be put on the head of a pin. I would like to believe “we” are not alone and I would also like to believe that “they” have evolved beyond the myopic and bigoted doctrinaire prevalent in the human condition of today. That being said, it will still be a very long time before we can even contemplate sending our species to another solar system.

Let’s face it the distances are so great that it would take multiple lifetimes just to get to the nearest star to us that is known to have planets. That is planets… not that they could even be inhabited by our delicate earth-centric biology. The closest is Epsilon Eridani at a mere 10.5 light years from earth. No big deal right, as we see this kind of stuff all the time in movies? All you have to do is make a powered spacecraft that can travel at 186,000 miles per second (700 million miles an hour) and then park your butt in a chair for 10.5 years in a weightless environment, hoping nothing breaks and it all stays together for that long. So far not much around my house has stayed together that long. By the way, if you are traveling at 700 million miles an hour you may not want to hit anything along the way or it is as “they” say “sayonara star traveler”. I’m pretty sure there isn’t a Holiday Inn on any the planets orbiting around Epsilon Eridani, so accommodations could be iffy at best.

Realistically, our Voyager Space Probes 1 & 2 launched in 1977 are traveling at about 35,000 miles an hour, (pretty fast actually) but they would still take somewhere around 100,000 years to get to Epsilon Eridani’s System at that speed even if they were headed that way. So let’s see, humans have been on earth for an estimated 200,000 years. Seems like we are going to be stuck here for a while. If you want to travel in space, you are either going to have to do it spiritually when you are dead or maybe just to go to Space Mountain at Disneyland. With the latter, at least that way you could be home for dinner.

It just might be prudent if we take care of what we have left on our own little planet and even find a way to stop killing each other over dissimilar philosophies about our God, which almost have to be the same one anyway. The rest I see as just individual interpretations based on sociological dogma.

But that’s just me.

Love, Dad

Posted in Human Nature, Religion, Thoughts, Weekend Letter | Comments Off

Father’s Day 2012

Posted on June 17, 2012 by Jon Long Sr

Good Morning,

This last week especially, I have been reminded of my father and my father-in-law as I have been working on a design-build project that required both welding and lathe work.

My father, besides other trades, was a welder in his later years of gainful employment. He was a good one besides. He didn’t teach me to weld however as I believe he did not want me to follow that trade. So, whenever I do weld something, I find myself judging each weld much like I believe he would have. Am I still trying to please my father or is it just that I have a patterned expectation of quality? One of the things I remember about my father was the high standard he imposed on himself when he made something. It was always the best he could do with what he had. No compromises. I’m pretty sure some of that rubbed off on me.

It doesn’t matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was.

~ Anne Sexton

This last week Jon Jr. and I moved the Craftsman Metal Lathe that was Jeanie’s fathers out of our garage and over the office shop area. I cleaned it up and used it to make some custom pieces for the same design-build project. Jeanie’s father, Jack was a Dentist by trade, but enjoyed the challenges of making things and working with his hands. As with many Dentists, and Jack was no exception, he was a perfectionist and enjoyed doing the absolute best he could when taking on a project. I liked that in him and related him to my own father in those ways.

There is something about placing your hand around or using a tool that another in your life has used and for just a moment, they are there with you, if only in spirit. I am compelled to respect the tool as they did, for while I may have inherited it with their passing, it still remains their tool in my mind. I wonder if my sons will feel the same in later years when they pick up one of my tools.

A father is a man who expects his children to be as good as he meant to be.
~ Carol Coats

Jon Jr. & Michael are now fathers and are discovering some of the things I have known now for 47 years. These are things that you must experience first-hand, as it is impossible to describe the feelings that touch your very soul and find roots there when it comes to being a father and especially with having a daughter. It is like a saying that I saw on the back of a “Biker’s shirt once, “If I have to explain, you wouldn’t understand.”

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.

~Jim Valvano

As I get older, I find myself enjoying those times watching my sons raise their children and to see a few of the lessons learned along the way, tempered with their own spin. I like what I see and I am proud of the fathers they have become.

“A wise son maketh a glad father.” — Proverbs 10:1

Having children and being a father is not for the faint-of-heart. It can be some of the most emotional and personally challenging things you may ever experience, but with it also come the greatest rewards as well. I consider myself blessed to have a father who taught me some of the best things I know, and to have the sons and daughters who call me Dad.

The greatest thing a FATHER can do to his children, is to love their mother.

~Anjaneth Garcia Untalan

Love, Dad

Oh yes, and one more thing:

What a dreadful thing it must be to have a dull father.

~ Mary Mapes Dodge

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Easter 2012

Posted on April 8, 2012 by Jon Long Sr

Good Morning, Easter Sunday 2012

Another trip around the Sun and it is Easter Sunday once again.

Christians everywhere are celebrating the biblical account of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Following the crucifixion on Calvary, it is the resurrection that separates Jesus Christ from just another prophet. The resurrection is also the keystone that bonds Jesus to God and as most anyone would agree, that it would take an act of God to come back from the truly dead after three days. Natural decomposition of the body that occurs during that time changes things as cells break down and give off gasses. It is the giving off of these gasses that are attributed to the image of Jesus Christ left on the Shroud of Turin.

Jesus alive, after his resurrection was witnessed by many people. Firstly, by Mary Magdalene, then later his disciples in Galilee, including Thomas and eventually 500 brethren. All this occurred before his ascension to the heavens. With the large number of witnesses and numerous accounts, it is difficult to discredit the resurrection. Not my intent.

During the Christmas season this last year, I had the pleasure of attending LDS (Mormon) Stake Christmas Program. It had been a while since I had attended a Christmas Program in any church, so it was reminiscent of earlier times and familiar in many ways to my earlier years. As guests, we were warmly received and the entire experience made for a pleasant evening to recognize and celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. While there, I realized that there was not a single image or icon of a cross. Something I had become accustom to in a Christian Church. It was explained to me the Mormons focus on the life and teaching of the living Christ to guide their lives and not his death and crucifixion. That our atonement was achieved in the Garden of Gethsemane before the crucifixion rather than on the cross. It is considered by many of the LDS faith to be a symbol of Roman torture and therefore undesirable. This also brought to light why some LDS members may be uncomfortable in our home since Jeanie has a pretty good collection of crosses that adore our walls, mantel and her jewelry. There are a good number of theological differences between religions based on Christianity and it is not my intent with this letter to go into them or to pick on a particular version of that belief.

I suppose what I am getting to here is that the significance Easter holds for those who embrace Jesus Christ in there lives, varies from individual to individual, not only from organization to organization and that makes it a very personal experience. Jesus could be to some, just another prophet, stirring up trouble and that is why he was crucified by the Romans. He did stir it up and the paradigm shift has lasted for over 2000 years. During that time it has spawned many variations and interpretations all claiming to be the “right way”. I suspect that they are all right to some degree, but who really knows the absolute? In the end we will know.

Whether you believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins and therefore we are granted salvation just by believing it or that he achieved our salvation in the Garden of Gethsemane prior to his angst on the cross and we can earn our way to a level in Heaven by our deeds here on earth, either way sounds plausible. After all, if we live the life of love that Jesus set as an example, we are not going to be bad people and in the end will be a good human being.

So, I say celebrate this time and occasion, for it is Spring, a time for renewing and rebirth. And if you are one who doesn’t recognize Easter and the significance to Christians because you embrace a different theology, or none at all, there is and appears will always be, the Easter Bunny, little chicks and lots of chocolate eggs to mark the day. Either way, Spring is a season of the year and one of my favorites of the four.

Love, Dad

Graphics:
Easter Cross here
Gethsemane Picture here
Easter Bunny here

Posted in Religion, Thoughts, Weekend Letter | 3 Comments

Hands

Posted on February 19, 2012 by Jon Long Sr

Good Morning,

It is 5:30PM and I am heading home from a day at the office. The sun is coming in through the passenger window of the work van and splaying across my hands on the steering wheel. My mind is somewhere else as I perfunctorily navigate this road I have become so familiar with. As I glance down at my hands, my memory is transported to another time and in my minds eye instead of my own, I see my father’s hands. Hands calloused and scared from razor sharp steel, flying bits of molten metal and years of righteous work as a sheet metal worker.

I do not have all of the scars and certainly not the calluses my father had, but I have enough to realize that they look very similar to his in his later years at 61, when he reluctantly gave up the work to fight for ten years the cancer invading his body.

I suppose that it was during that ten-year period that I became the closest to my father and it was during his 60s where our hands now look so similar. With skin thinned and softened with age and where the veins become pronounced like roots of a tree across the ground. Hands that have built, fixed, provided and shown love to the ones around us. Every mark, every crooked finger and every blemish brought on from trauma and age, have a story.

Recalling the ones my dad had is difficult as so many times, I was not always there during those years. I was after all, in my own life with family and work. However, I do recall many of my own starting from my adolescents.

The first memorable one was when I was about 10. Leon Johnson and I were digging a “Foxhole” with my Army Surplus shovel. Leon manning the shovel and it was my turn to pull the dirt out of the hole. We got out of sync with each other and my hand was where the shovel came down. And yes I did go home crying. You will find that scar at the base of my 3^rd and 4^th fingers on the back of my right hand.
Another one on my right hand was from a dog names “Gus Gus” at the Soost farm in Washougal, Washington. We would go up to the Northwest on vacation in the summer to see relatives and visiting the farm was pretty special for a “city” kid. Anyway, when playing with “Gus Gus” and a ball it got a little rough and my right thumb ended up in his mouth instead of the ball. The quick extraction left a gash about an inch and a half long. Huge for a kid. “Gus Gus” was a good farm dog and the wound unintentional. 50 years later the scar is still a reminder of that day so long ago.
Early teens while helping my father with welding the Bar-B-Que at the Floyd Avenue house. I was moving the Gas Powered Welder back to the shop. In a moment that should only be reserved for “seniors”, for leverage, I wrapped my hand around the stainless steel muffler, which was still blue from the exhaust of the welder. It only took an instant to realize what I had done, but not quick enough to avoid 3^rd degree burns on the palm of my hand. During the healing, the wound became infected and required a drainage tube. The scar from that is at the base of my index finger on my left hand.
While playing with gas powered model airplanes with high school buddy Mike Duncan, I managed to get nicked by a propeller on my left thumb.
Of course working on cars both in my teens and with sons in later years has contributed to quite a few of the nicks and scratches leaving their mark. It doesn’t seem to be a proper job unless a little blood is shed for each project.
Setting up the house here in Arizona, I was winding an old clock when something broke and the winding key turned into something akin to a Whirling Dervish and before it was finished had removed a pretty nice chunk down to the bone from the thumb knuckle of my left hand. The clock hung for a couple of years before I had it repaired. I’m pretty sure it didn’t care.
Probably the most traumatic thing my hands have had to experience, aside from the number of times I have managed to miss with a hammer and take out a thumbnail, was when I was delivering a repaired National Cash Register back to the J. C. Penny store in Merced, CA. The register destined for the basement required that I use the freight elevator to transport it. Now freight elevators are pretty simple to operate, unless your mind is somewhere else. That day, it apparently was, because when I pulled down on the leather strap to lower the upper wooden gate, I forgot about the one that always comes up from the bottom at the same time. Much to my chagrin and surprise, when the gates met in the middle, my hand was caught in the latch. Reaching over with my left hand and unlatching the gates, it became apparent that a finger was never intended to point up that way, unless of course you are a Thai dancer. I guess it could have been worse, as I could have lost that finger, but instead I only crushed the bone on my right index in 10 pieces. Six weeks later, I still have a finger albeit numb and a bit crooked.

I suppose what I am getting at here is that there is a story in all the mishaps we may experience, whether they leave scars on our body that we can see or ones privately held inside. They live right there along side of the good ones and it then becomes our choice, which ones we hang onto.

My hands are looking a lot like my fathers these days and I am proud of that. They help to tell a story of my life, just as my fathers did his.

Love, Dad

Posted in Childhood, Thoughts, Weekend Letter | Comments Off

China Made?

Posted on January 22, 2012 by Jon Long Sr

Good Morning,

DCC-2000FR

As I tossed our third, $100, two-year-old Cuisinart DCC-2000FR coffee maker in the garbage can, it occurred to me that this is becoming a routine. It seems that just about every two years, sometimes more and sometimes a little less, that I am tossing a coffee maker in the trash.

They seem to last just long enough to have survived the “Manufacturer’s Warranty” and so that I am not disturbed enough to seek compensation for a faulty product or post a blog about how poor the product is. Then again, I ask myself, “Have I been conditioned to accept products with a shorter usable life by manufacturers bent on pumping up sales at our expense and that of our landfills?”

With the advances and improvements in technology in the last 20 years, I have to believe that the electronics and other components in a coffee maker could be made to last for years at no greater expense to manufacturing. So, at least in my mind, it then becomes a marketing ploy to sell more products. We, and I am including most “Americans” with myself, when I say, have allowed ourselves to accept poor quality, because of a cheap price. Actually, a $100 coffee maker isn’t that cheap really, but I suppose you have to pay for the features.

Shopping for a new coffee maker on the Internet and elsewhere, I soon discovered that it is virtually impossible to find a coffee maker “Made in America”. Most coffee makers sold in the United States are “Made in China” or “P.R.C.” (People’s Republic of China). A few are made in Europe, but even then you will find some listed as “European Style” which is a sure sign they are also “Made in China”.

I want to state here that I have nothing against the Chinese people in general. The oppression they are under by their government is another story, but I am pretty sure your average Chinese citizen is much like us in their daily personal interactions with family and friends. The immense and growing economy in China in the last 20 years has fostered a generation of “consumers” and I suspect as human nature plays a part, they will start to expect more of the things we take for granted in the U.S.A. This is something we should not ignore here in the U.S.A. and realize there can be opportunities to sell “American Quality” to China. Something we were once known for and hopefully haven’t lost completely.

DCC-3000

I believe that I am part of a growing number of Americans that pause to first shop “American” before making a purchase. We look for value for our dollar and do not mind paying a little more to support our fellow Americans. That being said and having done my due diligence, I am once again either relegated to boiling water on the stove to make coffee in a French Press, or purchase another China made Cuisinart Coffee Maker for $100 that has the features I want. Funny how “Cuisinart” sounds French to me…good marketing ploy I suspect.

My expectation, albeit optimistic, is that this one may last for at least 3 years. This time I put a label on it with the date of purchase so on that fateful day I may verify my findings. When it dies, and I know it will, I will once again shop “American” hoping to find a company that has risen to the occasion, but for now, the choices are slim.

Love, Dad

Images: DCC-2000 & DCC-3000 were taken from Overstock.com

Once again I am grateful to Wikipedia for the definitions links on this page.

Posted in Observations, Thoughts, Weekend Letter | Tagged Coffee Maker, Cuisinart, Human Behavior | 1 Comment

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays

Posted on December 25, 2011 by Jon Long Sr

Good Morning, Christmas Day

Having been raised Christian in my beliefs; Christmas has always been a special time of the year when we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. To me it also seems to be a time of religious possessiveness when many “Christians” act as if they own the whole month of December while conveniently ignoring other religious holidays in the month. I.e. Dar of Ashura (Islam), Bodhi Day (Buddhist), Hanukkah (Jewish), Winter Solstice (Wicca/Pagan), Kwanzaa (African-American.

Lately, it seems that if you are a “Christian”, you must wish everyone a “Merry Christmas” rather than “Happy Holidays” as an affront to “Political Correctness”. Now I…like I believe so many others, are a bit tired of all the proliferation of “Political Correctness” that seems to be changing the way we refer to just about anything… that could possible offend… even the smallest portions of our society.

Just the other day I saw where the “Master Bedroom” in a house is now referred to as “Owners Bedroom”. Now if that was intended not to offend our African-American citizens or every other culture that has been owned at one time, then someone should reconsider that “Owners” could be just as offensive to the more sensitive of that particular group. Pretty soon this “German-American” won’t know what to say or how to say it, without offending someone.

That being said, I have no problem wishing someone “Happy Holidays”, which in my mind, encompasses the religious holidays of December pretty well and with a bonus of “Happy New Year” thrown in for good measure. To me it also shows respect for other beliefs, even if they are not the same as mine. Personally, I do not want someone jamming their religious beliefs in my face and because I believe I should threat others like I would like to be treated, I tend to wish others Happy Holidays.

Sure, I still wish some people a “Merry Christmas” when I feel it is appropriate and I know they are Christian. What I don’t have to do, is insist that everyone say “Merry Christmas” or for that matter that they be Christian. You see, I am secure enough with my beliefs, that I do not need everyone around me believing the exact same as me to bolster my view of God. To me, belief in a God…or “Gods” for some, is a very personal thing and is best kept that way.

So on this day of Christian celebration of the virgin birth of Jesus of Nazareth, I want to wish all of my Christian friends and relatives a very Merry Christmas. To my friends that embrace Judaism, I wish a Happy Hanukkah, and to my Muslim friends I wish peace in this time of Ashura. To the Baha’is, a New Year of World Peace. Curious I find how we all share the God of Abraham. To my Wicca and Pagan friends, may you enjoy the “return of the light” during this Yule. To my Hindu friends, may the upcoming festival of Makar Sankranti be joyous. To my African-American friends that celebrate Kwanzaa, may it enrich your heritage and be a family time.

May all of you have a Happy and Prosperous New Year.

Love, Dad

PS. I am also just a bit tired of seeing “Santa Claus” everywhere I look. I’m afraid that Saint Nicholas has been morphed into a retail icon, but that is for another time. Maybe next year.

Images: Santa Claus: Queen of Celebrity http://bit.ly/vfEdC7

Posted in Observations, Religion, Thoughts, Weekend Letter | Tagged Human Behavior, Wicca | Comments Off

Ellie “Belly” Long

Posted on December 18, 2011 by Jon Long Sr

This last week granddaughter Ellie turned nine years old. Besides once again being reminded of just how fast time goes sometimes, I tend to reflect on what I was doing in those years. What things were important to me and what my life was like at nine. I was a Cub Scout at nine and probably working on my Bear Patch after conquering the Wolf. Next would come Lion, Webelos (We‘ll Be Loyal Scouts) and then the jump to Boy Scouts. I didn’t make it to Explorer, as “Girls and hormones” got in the way I suppose.

But at nine I was into trains, planes and cars, like most boys my age in the fifties. In Ellie, I see some of myself if only imagined. She has a wonderful imagination and sometimes lives in that world of fantasy as I did. An age of innocence when the realities of adulthood are still so many years away. When it is still ok to have an “Imaginary Friend” to share time with. When dreams are reality and every young lady is a princess.

Ellie has a innate love for all animals and with a caring and generous heart she marvels at their individual uniqueness. As a young boy around her age I remember playing like I was different animals even at school. This I must believe is normal when I see Ellie mimicking cats, dogs and any other animal that has captured her fancy at the time. With abandonment of any self-consciousness, she lives within the moment.

Ellie also has natural curiosity for things mechanical and loves to be involved with building and fixing things. Again I can relate and see this as a good sign. It is so important to cultivate her desire to learn new things so she gains and understanding of the world around her.

Ellie’s world is and will be so much different than it was when I was her age and in years to come one can only imagine the marvelous things she will see in her lifetime.

So darling Ellie, I wish you enough of everything to make you rounded in your life experience. Enough good times and bad to realize and appreciate to really good ones. Enough friends good and bad to know the difference when you are fortunate enough to have ones come into your life that are true. Just enough material things, so that you do not take for granted the simplest of them. Enough happiness and sorrow, so that you can feel deeply. May not all of your dreams come true, so that you still have a few left in the end.

Love, Grandpa

Posted in Childhood, Weekend Letter | Comments Off

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