Good Morning,
After reading a friends post (Alicia Arenas) this morning on “How to stop doing things for free”. I began to think about what she said and how it applies so many times in our business.
After doing my “strengths” (Now, Discover Your Strengths), I discovered that my greatest strength is “empathy”. I relate to other people easily and can feel for their need much like it was my own. Now… I do not consider that a bad thing per se, but being a self-employed entrepreneurial type, it can pose a plethora of problems.
When a client comes to me with a problem, I tend to jump right in and want to fix it, before discussing or establishing a business arrangement for compensation. That becomes a problem, as too quickly there is a solution for the client. Then getting paid for resolving their problem after the fact is not a good bargaining position. While I am flattered that they ask for my opinion or solution, I forget that this is business. I have done it too many times.
I am also seeing more “former” clients calling to “Pick My Brain” without any intention to compensate me for my time or knowledge. They get honest answers and most of the time, good solutions. The numbers seem to be growing by the day. I realize there will always be those individuals out there that are just out for their own interest. That goes back to Cain and Abel and isn’t something I can change, but what I can change is my attitude toward this situation.
From the time I was fifteen I have been fixing things for money. The range of technologies I have worked on is vast and when needed I have sought expanded education through technical and night schools. I have now been doing it for over 50 years. It is one of my strengths/gifts to understand how many different things work, along with an un-placatable appetite to learn about more. Therein lies the rub, for just because I find it easier than most to do this, does not mean that it is of lesser value.
Each one of us is unique in the entire world and has their strengths. For some, understanding finance comes naturally, but for me you will get the “Deer in the headlights” look when the conversation exceeds one minute. Others have an artistic flair as their gift and can see art in the most unusual ways. Some can play an instrument with ease, while others, like myself, have no rhythm and are residual to just enjoy the music.
Most entrepreneurs tend to start a business doing the things they enjoy and for which they have a talent. (See E-Myth) When something comes easy, it also becomes difficult to apply an appropriate market value for the person doing the work. Too many times the product is undervalued and in-turn under compensated. It becomes essential to know the market and remove emotion from the equation. Only then, can one be compensated properly. Easier said than done when you are the one having to do it. That is where outside opinion brings value.
I love fixing things and probably will continue as long as I am around in some fashion or another. I also find great personal satisfaction in helping family and friends with things that I can still do. It is part of the close knit community we create around us. In this community of family and friends we help each other, as there is tacit reciprocity that exist in the relationship. Compensation then comes in the form of knowing you have benefited and helped someone who would return the favor without question and that they appreciate your effort.
Clients and/or customers are more of a one-way arrangement and compensation should be fair and monetary, or at least barter and each exchange remain independent of the next. Most of my clients are this way. It is when “esoteric stings are attached” that it gets pushed into “usury” of the transaction, much like absorbent interest on a loan where the lender is trying to extract more out of the transaction than was originally agreed. That is when the “No” must come, for it should be evident at that point that the client’s only interest is for themselves and has little or no regard or value for yours, other than to get an unequal advantage.
I resolve to work on my “No” in those situations and to appreciate more the “Value” that I can bring to my clients.
Love, Dad
Images: The “Not Free”, I copied from Alicia’s Site.
Link: “No You May Not Pick My Brain” by Sheila Scarborough.
Now Discover Your Strengths by authors: Marcus Buckingham & Donald O. Clifton, Ph.D.
Thanks for a dose of medicine my sore, addled, and very tired brain needed. I learned that lesson during a recent supposed buy out with a company in my industry. People use buy outs as a means of scoping a competitions net worth and value, and also to see how they’re stacking up financially.
I was ever so hopeful, helpful, and FULL of instantly exchanged information, and I am now closing the doors to this *wonderful*deal. As the weeks rolled by it became evident by their choice of negotiator, that a) the negotiator knew far less about the market than I did b) she wanted to pick my brain to beef up her bigger but less well designed company, and c) mine me for financial information while she deconstructed the entire deal step by step and tried very transparently to reduce my company to nothing more than rubble, in the process.
“esoteric strings are attached”….is right.
I finally just said……..NO…..no number, no nothing……Im waiting, for the company owners to do the post evaluation, with no thought of offering any MORE information about how they should do their job right, but more information about how they didn’t handle this negotiation well, with the caveat that my “be back later” sign stays on the company door, every time I see her blonde head coming down the hall toward me.
WOW, Jon, thanks again!
Janet, ain’t it so!
One of the sayings I have always liked is: “There is no such thing as a free lunch”. Someone will always want something, especially in business. Another one is “No one is completely worthless, they can always serve as a bad example”, but I will save that one for a later time.
Being a entrepreneurial type yourself, I know you can relate, unfortunately, all too well to the post.
We have to “stop the madness” and hold on what little we have left.
Thanks for the feedback, it is always appreciated.
Jon
Jon, this is so insightful! Those of us who are tender-hearted and have a strong desire and willingness to help people often give ourselves the short end of the stick.
What stood out to me in what you wrote is, “just because I find it easier than most to do this, does not mean that it is of lesser value.” How profound.
I echo your resolve to say yes to those in our inner circle and say no with more regularity to the rest. Thank you for your post!