Good Morning, “Resilience”
Recent events earlier this month in Japan with the huge 9.0 earthquake and devastating Tsunami that followed, gave me pause to consider the resilience of people and the events in my own life the last couple of years.
I suppose when difficult times come around, and they always will at some time in our lives, it really comes down to how we react at that moment. Do we curl up in the prenatal position and let the moment sweep us away, or do we bend like a willow against the storm so when it passes we can right ourselves and start putting the pieces of our life back together again? Resilience is considered by most a process and not a personality trait, per se, yet I cannot help think that there has to be some other influences at work like culture, social norms and spiritual espousal.
Of course, our attitude has a lot to do with how we respond as well. I had a cousin, that when she found out she had pancreatic cancer, gave up and in a very short time left this world, while another with a better attitude, lived longer and accomplished putting their life in order before departing. Ok, so they both died, which we all will eventually anyway, but my point here is, the second cousin showed resilience to the initial diagnosis, chose treatment and in the process did something creative with the precious time left. Randy Pausch comes to mind and how he made a difference in others and his remaining time here with his “Last Lecture”.
I know the tens of thousands in Japan that died that day didn’t have a choice or chance to be resilient and that task was left up to family, friends and the rest of the populous to cope and rebuild. It will take time and great effort, but I am confident that the Japanese people will get it back together as they have before. I have great respect for their tacit approach and pride in both their country, culture and quality of their character. I suppose it is easier to see that in countries that are not as diverse culturally as the United States of America. Granted, we briefly come together in times of adversity, but I see it as a different motivation, not as altruistic in our efforts, but more like humanitarians. Maybe because too many of us are hung up on being (fill-in-the-blank)-Americans, rather than just “Americans”, which tends to keep us separated from one another and busy defending and maintaining our root culture. I might save that discussion for another time.
The events in my life of the last two years have changed a number of my perspectives. The resilience process I have gone through has caused me to evaluate a number of things I had not given much thought to in the past:
- How I personally define real friendship or just casual acquaintances and what are the differences.
- The real value of my time when it comes to using my abilities for monetary gain.
- How I chose to use my time here and avoiding those who waste it.
- Recognizing those who just want to use me for their own gain and learning to say no. See “No More Free“.
- Needs versus desires, when it comes to spending money.
- Finally, the importance of spouse, family and relationships in my life.
The resilience process will produce a number of results in people.
- There will be a psychological hardening to future occurrences of the same nature, lessoning the emotional impact.
- There will be a change in our preparedness and steps of prevention taken.
- There will be a change in values and what is considered really important.
Are we better because of adversity? I think we can be, for to really appreciate what we do have, we need to experience not having or just about losing it.
Make lemonade.
Love, Dad