Good Morning,
Well it is that time of the year when we get annual letters from friends and family. It is a tradition of sorts to bring those who we otherwise do not see much of during the year, up-to-date with our world. It really hasn’t been something I have done very often and maybe it is because I’m just not that organized. So, I thought that instead of my quasi-weekly letter, I would give it a shot. Now before I start, I want to make it clear that every cloud has a silver lining and every downside has an upside. While 2009 is not a year that I would choose to live over, “it is what it is” and I hope I am better for it. Oh and by the way, if you are expecting a letter full of fluffy stuff, you may be disappointed.
January: The year started out optimistic and hopeful that our business would pick up soon. Optimistic, because I felt it couldn’t get much worse. I’ve been wrong before and this time was no different. A reduction in staff and liquidation of a vehicle was in order. Never fun at any time, but when you work to build something for so long, going backwards is like sliding down a cactus. For a few months Grandson Tyler was a guest of Sheriff Joe to fulfill his obligation to the State of Arizona. There are few things that you can compare with visiting a family member in jail. The upside is he is still alive and that in itself was a blessing.
February: Building for many years and as such things are a progression that do not fix themselves, Jeanie and I had an “intervention” of sorts and as a result she and Freckles ended up in San Antonio, Texas staying with Son Michael while she went into a prescription drug and alcohol rehab program for 5 weeks. Jeanie is and has been in chronic pain with the joint conditions and that coupled with our social drinking habits, things just went too far and needed to be changed. We have been married 33 years and sometimes adjustments need to be made to keep things on track. This was one of those times. I also quit consuming alcohol as well to support her efforts.
March: Jeanie was out of the house and I had to adjust to single life. I discovered a number of things about myself and my habits that I had not considered before. Some good, some bad, all necessary. I also started counseling in an effort to understand where I was in the relationship and understanding more of what Jeanie was going through. This was critical if we were to keep things together. Getting the financials straightened out took the rest of our savings as by that time I had missed 6 paychecks this year with little end in sight.
April: I scoured the house for alcohol and removed every bottle, can and container I could find. Jeanie comes back from San Antonio and it is like starting over time for us. Awkward at first, because we both changed during that time and had an opportunity to evaluate what was important in our lives and what wasn’t. We started counseling together. A good move for both. We also had to adjust to a social life without alcohol and living in a community such as ours, well let me say it takes fortitude. I finally finished the fence in the back yard so that Freckles could have an area without a leash.
May: It is a quick trip up to Oregon for Jeanie and I to visit Sister Karen. It had been a while and she still had not recovered from her knee surgery. I am beginning to doubt if she will ever regain the ability to walk again. It is a helpless feeling, but I am not in a position to do much for her other than show her love. Michael & Zaida’s puppy Morgan had been diagnosed with bone cancer and had to be put down. Sad time for all since he was a good doggie, he just drew a bad hand in life.
June: It is Jeanie’s birthday and a celebration of 4 months of sobriety. She gets her name painted on a wall at the Recovery Rocks Store. Pretty cool! We’re still going to counseling and we are doing well. Jeanie enjoys her AA meetings and looks forward to them.
July: Jeanie’s favorite Uncle died in June and we are off to Santa Barbara for the memorial service and a chance to meet up with her two sisters and cousins for the occasion. Funny how weddings and funerals bring family together. Uncle Bill was one of my favorites as well and I will miss the times we shared. We had to replace all four tires and a cracked rim on the BMW before we could go on the trip. $1,400 I didn’t want to spend, but BMW in all it’s wisdom specified run-flat tires on their Series 3, which also now appears to cause cracked rims due to excessive stress from the sidewalls. The noise from the tires was so loud you couldn’t listen to the stereo and that was only after 11k miles. No way we could make the trip without earplugs. To finish the month off, I ended up in the emergency room and then ICU for four days from internal bleeding. I guess it took that long to get things working again. The $60,000 in medical bills that followed proved to be a tipping point for us financially since I did not have medical insurance and saving were gone. We had to cancel my insurance some years ago when it got close to $1,000 a month for me alone. We certainly could not afford to pay that with not getting a paycheck in any consistent fashion.
August: This is the month I started my blog page. Michael set it up for me so that my letters could be “out there”. It will take some adjustment as the content may end up being more circumspect, or maybe not. Jeanie and I are still sorting through the finances because of the medical bills and the lack of income this year that has made it difficult just to keep up with the day to day, but it is what it is.
September: My birthday month and I’m still here at 64. The kids give me a .17cal. rifle for my birthday. Pretty cool and fun to shoot. Sometimes you just have to do it. So with the help of a few things I sold on eBay I was able to rent a bike for the weekend and take an overnight road trip to Prescott with Jon Jr and friend Jason. It was one of those JFDI moments and as it turned out memorable. On the 14th I had a tumor removed from my left index finger. The pathology came back that it wasn’t malignant, so that was good. The next weekend Jon Jr and I went to Oregon to see Sister Karen and sort out her belongings, which had become scattered around with her moves. All of it ended up at a cousin’s house with huge quantities of dolls, beads and balls to be sorted. 4 days were not enough time to go through it all. I’m pretty sure that Karen will be in the rehab facility for a long time. That may be best.
October: The dentist tells me I will have to have a crown and if I’m really lucky not a root canal after a filling falls out. I’m lucky because I have “old teeth”, but it still comes in at $1,800 for all of the work. Great… and I’m out of rich aunts dying. Then a client decides not to pay us after we try to collect for months, so our vendor is now suing Jeanie and I for $14,400 for the unpaid balance plus attorney’s fees, since we guarantee the companies debt. To finish the month off, on the 14th, Son Michael filed for divorce from Zaida. They had been together since they were 16. There goes the family photo! It just gets better and better.
November: The response to the lawsuit costs us $980 in attorney’s fees just to answer it. I’m thinking I’m in the wrong business. That won’t be the end of it either, I’m sure. I feel like I would like to go and rip out the system we put in along with the client’s heart. I do not like being taken advantage of, but that seems to be the norm right now. To finish off the month Son Jon Jr. separated from wife Dedra after 8 years of marriage and will now enter the world of a single fatherhood. Finally we sold another one of our company vehicles to help cut cost.
December: It is important that the business survives, as it is the “Golden Goose” and we better not kill it. Jeanie and I have a better relationship now than we have had in years and even if we lost everything material, we will still have each other. This Christmas will be one of the leanest in a very, very long time, but we will have all three of our children here for Christmas Day and for that I’m thankful and grateful. Ever so slightly this month the business has picked up and I am optimistic that we can make it through.
The positives:
- Grandson is alive
- My Jeanie is back
- I’m still alive
- We will be together for the holidays
So here’s looking at 2010 with new eyes. “Bring it on!”
Love, Dad