Good Morning,
Last Saturday night while out with Jeanie and friends, I was fortunate enough to meet an older couple that was celebrating their 70th Wedding Anniversary. 70 years!!! Are you kidding me?? During the evening I had seen them on the dance floor (gentle slow dancing) several times while holding each other close. Thinking back that could have been a mutual supportive thing, but it indeed looked nice to see a couple in their years being that close. Once the anniversary was announced, a visit to their table was a must.
From our conversation I learned that they had officially met at a church function. Edward was at the time living in South Dakota, while she living in Iowa just across the State Line. From what Milly said, with a grin and look of some personal satisfaction displayed through the years on her face, apparently he had pursued her for a while, she obviously playing hard to get, before she said yes. So, it turned out that Edward was 23 and “Milly” 20 when they married. That would have been in August of 1940 and a little more than a year before Pearl Harbor and our main involvement in WWII. It was easy to see that there was still that “young feel” about their relationship present in their voices and while the years had to have held so many stories of their life together and the raising of their three children, I couldn’t help feeling that they were living in this Saturday Night moment. They were enjoying just this time and in doing so celebrating a triumph and friendship of those so many years.
With today’s divorce rates now exceeding 50%… for a couple to have reached 70 years of marriage and that with the same person, had to have required a unique tenacity and commitment not seen often in these days of “disposable everything”. It isn’t just staying together that long and weathering the ups and down as there always is, you must also have to get an early start and then live into your 90s as they did. I liken it pretty much to winning the lottery. It was obvious they still had their clear minds and mobility from our conversation and also seeing them dance. A blessing indeed to have shared that many years and still be friends.
I told Edward that when I had asked the husband of another couple celebrating a long relationship, what the secret of a long marriage was, the husband remarked in two words…“Yes Dear”. That invoked a chuckle from both and Milly quickly said, while putting her hand on Edwards shoulder, it was more like she saying “Yes Dear”. I suspect that their “secret” was really held in a mutual respect for each other as individuals, while wanting to share their life together.
As the years go by and the marbles in their jar get down to the last precious few, likewise the days become sweeter much like the last cookie in the jar. I suspect this anniversary held a special significance unmatched by the three score and nine previous. I felt honored to know them and share a little bit of this unique moment in their lives. Lessons to be learned, I guess, from those who have gone before.
Yesterday, Jeanie and I celebrated our 34th anniversary, which is just about half of the time Edward and Milly have. A little epiphany…and I came to realize we have been married for more that half my life. That actually happened last year, but I suppose the significance of that just came home to roost. The odds of Jeanie and I making it to our 70th are pretty slim and it is not because we would not try. I think the 50th may be a more reasonable goal. It has everything to do with living long enough. I would have to be 101 to see that. The events of last year reminded me of how tenuous life can be and my need to be realistic.
I think the best thing we can to do is to enjoy each anniversary as they come along and in that way each one becomes special in its own right.
Love, Dad
Anniversary Picture from The Marriage Zone blog.